onceandfutureprat

[Video Post thing to settle a bet with Cass]

[So a week ago, Cass bet Arthur that if she beat him in a sparring match, then he had to clean up after himself for a whole week. And show everyone. No one will probably understand the significance of this except for Merlin who has previously done all of the cleaning and Cass and Guinevere because she was around. This seems like an accidental post honestly. So here you go, people of the Barge, here's nearly five minutes of Arthur straightening up his room. He comes back to the communicator eventually and picks it up, and now you know this wasn't an accident.]

Happy, Cassandra?

[There's a small pause, and he looks like he isn't sure he wants to ask this but:] ... is it... customary, where most of you are from, to give gifts at this time of year?

[Private to the Admiral]

For Guinevere, a pair of earrings befitting a Queen.

For Merlin, a better mattress. The one he has now is awful.

For Arya, a set of chainmail useful for her size and some treats for her wolf.

For Charles, that ~~ugly~~... thick tunic that seems to have found its way into my room.

For Cass, a nice dress. ~~Girls like those sort of things, right~~

For Cashmere, a... trinket for her hair.

For Emma... a bracelet.

For Tim, his own sword and mail.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That I have magic, and I've done everything I can to use it to protect you and serve Camelot. And that I wish I could have told her, and you.

[WHICH IS ALL THAT MATTERS STOP GETTING BOGGED DOWN IN DETAILS.]

[MERLIN HIS LIFE IS A LIE, THAT IS A BIG DEAL]

She should know the rest, when she's ready.

If she asks to know more, I'll tell her.

I didn't think you wouldn't.

But if she decides she doesn't need to know the rest, I'll trust her judgement.

[Hnnng this feels too much like hiding secrets.]

Why wouldn't she?

I don't need to know every detail of Gwen's life to trust her. There's hardly anything I could learn about her that would make me think my trust was misplaced.

Maybe she'll feel the same way about me.

[Arthur kinda senses they aren't talking about Guinevere anymore but himself. But he'll hold up the ruse of using her name.]

Or maybe, she'll feel like she doesn't know you at all and will want to know who you actually are.

[Welp fuck that, he's not assigning that sort of dickery to Gwen even hypothetically.]

Maybe who I am isn't defined by what I am, Arthur.

[That's rubbish. You're talking to someone who defines himself entirely by what he is; the king.]

You can't separate them.

Yes, you can. No, more than that - you should. Magic isn't a personality trait, Arthur. It changed how I live my life but it doesn't dictate why I've made the choices that I have.

Merlin, your magic is as much a part of you as Camelot is a part of me.

So I ought to assume that you'll prove just as judgemental and hateful as your father, just because you've taken the throne, because the crown was your birthright just as magic is mine?

I imagine I wouldn't have blamed much for thinking that, if your only experience with nobility was such, and I'd just spent six years in your village pretending to be a simple, idiot farmer. [Because seriously Merlin, he literally can't name anyone besides you in Camelot that's got magic and is good :c]

But I wouldn't, Arthur. Because the 'simple idiot farmer' who raised me on her own in a border village nobody cared about, and the 'simple idiot farmer' who was my best friend until he was killed by a crossbow bolt meant for you? They would never have made me a man who would judge someone for their blood and not the choices they've made.

And even if they had, I would have grown beyond it. As I hoped you had.

[No, simple idiot farmer was code for simple idiot manservant. He likes your mother, and.... maybe he forgot about Will but he didn't like him very much. Sorry. He's quiet for a long time.]

I'm not. Judging you by your magic. I can't disregard it, because if you didn't have magic, we wouldn't have met.

Yes, you are. I lied to you, because I am a sorcerer, because your life and Camelot's future were more important than my integrity. I have been waiting for a time when I could tell you and you'd be ready to hear it, and it clearly hasn't come yet, but this place forced my hand.

I don't want you to disregard my magic. I want you to be able to look past it and see that I have been your friend and ally all along. I lied to you because I had no choice, and now that's all you care about. And I -

[He rubs a hand over his mouth, and switches abruptly to audio, and his voice is breaking.]

- I can't do this any more. I can't play at being your servant in a place where I am your equal, and take your bullying and pretend that everything is fine while waiting for you to forgive me for something I had to do, to keep you safe.

It's been as good as a year, Arthur, and you're still the man who told me he couldn't bear to even look at me. So I think for a while I'm just going to save you the trouble.

It's - just as well you got some practice at cleaning your own chambers.

[Drop the mic, he's out, nothing further forthcoming.]

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