.023

[onceandfutureprat]

[Spam for Merlin]

[The last Arthur remembered, he went to sleep in his room. The king pushed himself up on his elbows, scanning his surroundings. That was definitely not where he was now. For one thing, the bed he was on was... completely horrible and he only knew of one person that slept in this tiny, messy room. And that was--]

Merlin!



[Later; filtered to friends; one nice conversation rule applies]

I understand I... slept through a port. How are you doing?

[Private to Arya]

What did you do for the last week?

Comments

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[Aha you are not funny.]

Is the list of things you didn't do shorter than the what you did?

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Are too]

A girl found a bush cut like a wolf.

[A beat]

It moved, but it wouldn't let her in.

Re: [Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[There is a decidedly long pause here because that sounds crazy.]

Maybe it was the wind.

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Gosh Arthur she's just being a warg, okay]

It wasn't the wind.

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

Bushes don't move on their own.

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Well these did.

Re: [Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

If you say so. [You sounds nuts. You can hear him judging you in his voice.]

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[You dick. >(]

You don't believe a girl.

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

I have yet to meet a bush with a mind.

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

These didn't have minds, stupid.

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[Look, he's trying to understand but you sound crazier than normal.]

Then what was the problem?

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[no u]

They moved!

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[We're moving on from this crazy.]

Did anything else happen?

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Yeah you'd like to think that]

One tried to bite Nymeria.

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[...]

What?

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

It tried to eat her. But it had no teeth, only sticks.

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

Is she... alright? [What crazy pills did you take?]

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[How can you ask that after so long on the Barge B(]

Yes. It moved, but it was just a bush. We shredded it.

The other bushes didn't like it, a girl thinks.

Re: [Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[The real question is how can he ask that after living in Camelot his whole life.]

I can't imagine why.

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Srsly bro]

Did you sleep through all of it?

[Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

I did.

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Maybe a man was lucky.

Re: [Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[Are you admitting that something got to you?]

Maybe.

Come on, my arms are stiff. You can help me get back intp shape.

[Private]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Absolutely not. B(]

Beating an out of shape man's no fun. [She is totally on her way to the gym.]

Re: [Private]

[onceandfutureprat]

[Yes, you are. You're human under all that.]

Neither is beating a little girl. [You're being treated to the kind of teasing he deals to Merlin. Enjoy that.]